I offer pychotherputic services to individuals, couples, and those in polyamorous relationships. As a kink- and poly-aware psychotherpist, I will not negatively judge your sexual expression or assume that it represents any type of psychological problem for you. I am also sensitive to work with other forms of diverse sexual expression, such as those with fetishes (mild to extreme), those who identify as asexual, and those who have sexual desires related to inanimate objects. I keep this aspect of your identiy in context as we consider other domains of you life, such as social relationships, and how these domains intersect. I am also sensitive to internalized stigma related to diverse sexual expression and can assist patients in sorting through pain that may be related to such internalized stigma.
Sexuality is a complex domain of human life that can provide transcendent experiences of union and merger with another. Such peak sexual experiences can help individuals to feel better about a plethora of issues. Those who feel chronically alone and isolated may turn to sexuality to find the opposite: complete connection and even self-dissolution. Those who feel pressured with too much responsibility in their daily lives may turn to sexuality to find a domain in which they can explore their needs for submission and the eschewal of responsibility. Those who feel powerless may turn to sexuality to find and express feelings of dominance and importance.
Fundamentally, none of these dynamics is unhealthy. On the contrary, exploring aspects of one’s self that feel under-expressed in daily life through the medium of sexuality can be transformative and healing. However, when a person who engages in non-traditional sexual practices, such as those found in the BDSM and Kink communities needs psychotherapy, their sexuality may not be fully understood and honored by some psychotherapists. Hence, it is especially important for those who engage in such manners of sexual self-expression to work with a psychotherapist who has the capacity to welcome, explore, and understand their sexuality.
Additionally, it is important to work with a therapist who realizes that the person’s sexual expression, however unique, is only one aspect of their overall life. I am aware of the multitude of possibilities regarding sexual expression, and work well with those who express their sexuality in non-traditional ways, whether the primary issues that are leading the person to therapy relate directly to sexuality or not. I feel equally comfortable working with men and women in this domain.
